Giving Children Space for Focused Play (A Collaborative Piece)

(Amara)

We live in a culture of constant stimulation and interruptions. With videos and cell phones and all things beeping and buzzing around us, it is easy to get caught up in that fast-paced and attention-grabbing environment. I like to be in our classroom because it is a space where I can be away from all of that. If we go out on a walk, I bring my phone in case of an emergency, but otherwise it is tucked away in my bag all day. Our classroom has windows, not computer screens, to create a visual escape. It is peaceful and inviting and conducive to what is so important for our children: play.

Our toddlers are still at a stage in their lives where things that may seem mundane to adults are really fascinating objects that require experimenting with in all different ways. Even as they grow older, there are going to be multitudes of activities that will lend themselves to focused play and experimentation. When I was an assistant teacher in a Montessori school, my job was to maintain an environment in which our 3 to 6 year-olds could have uninterrupted work time to focus on their chosen activities. I did not need to ask them what they were doing or try to draw their attention to something else that was happening in the classroom; I could simply observe what they were working on and give them space to succeed at it.

Our overall philosophy may differ here at PTCC, but I think that the core principles align with Montessori's. Here at PTCC, we encourage collaboration, but not if it is uninvited. There are times when we may narrate what a child is doing or an interaction they are having with another child, which can be very valuable. There are other times in which I think it is best to sit back, observe how an experience plays out, and see what we and the children can learn from it. Sometimes we may have an idea about how a material can be used, and when we sit back and watch how a child interacts with it, they may surprise us by using it in a way that we had never even thought of! How can we learn these things if we don't give children the space to try them? I think that sitting back is also a way of showing children respect for what they are doing. It is hard to focus on my work if someone is constantly coming over and interrupting me, so why would I do that to children?

I remember one day when I had put out markers, and some of our children were engaged with drawing on the paper (or themselves). When Nate came over, he picked up a marker with the cap on, and stood there, working to fit the marker into a small PVC pipe that had been brought over to that area. I could have said, "Hey Nate, let's take the cap off of the marker so that you can draw with everyone," but I moved back to let him follow through with what interested him. I was pretty excited to see how he was using these materials, and it was a great opportunity for him to work on problem solving, spatial awareness, and fine motor skills.

What else might Nate have learned from this experience? 


(Amara and Christina) 

It seems to boil down to our individual agendas. We have our agendas as adults to get everything done according to our schedules, but we need to always be conscious of the children's agendas and needs. A regular example of this for us teachers is during diapering times. It would be convenient for us to get diapers done as fast as possible so that we can move on to the next thing, such as going outside, but we try to be aware of when a child is in the middle of something and give them the time and space they need to complete their process. This is not always easy, and we are working on it all the time.

Can you think of a time this might apply to your family at home?

(Christina)

Since last year in Infant South, I've been interested in researching how an interruption, such as by a teacher, might affect a child's work. I am always trying to be conscious, not only about how much I say, but also what I say, and whether it might be helpful, or on the other hand, distracting, to a child as they play. This year, I am trying hard to remember, as we worked to be aware of with our babies last year, to invite rather than enforce that children participate in an activity such as coming to the table to eat. For example, we all wash our hands upon coming into the classroom, but if, before lunch, a child wishes to climb in and out of the book case or flip through a book before coming to the table, I try to remind myself that nothing bad is going to happen if they don't come over right away! In fact, by allowing a child the time and space to make a choice for themselves, they feel empowered and respected when we say something like, "We are starting to eat at the table...you can join us whenever you're ready." Usually, children come pretty soon after we say this anyway, but it is their decision, and practice in making decisions is important at a young age, so we can do it effectively during our entire lives.

The other day, I had set up the sensory table filled with water, along with two plastic bottles with holes that Amara and I poked into them. One of them could be capped and shut airtight, and the other had a two-part lid which could be screwed on, but with a flat top that went completely on or off. Having been inspired by the water play provocations set up for us at the Curiosity and Learning conference at Wheelock the previous weekend, I was excited to give the children a chance to possibly see the "magic" of what happens when a bottle with holes poked in it is airtight and you hold it sideways and shift it back and forth. (Try it at home!) Theo was happily filling up and pouring water out of the two-part lid bottle, and after watching him for a few moments, I wondered out loud what might happen if we closed the lid completely. I offered Theo the cap and gestured to see if he would let me put it on the bottle, but he quickly replied, "No, open." Theo had his own plan, and did not need me to offer any suggestions in order for him to learn something from his exploration. I don't think there was anything necessarily wrong about me trying to collaborate with him and extend the activity, but, based on his emphatic response, I wonder how my "interruption" affected his play. Did I distract him from his focused work? Or maybe, he was not affected negatively by it, and even could have gained a new idea, while maintaining his focus in order to complete his own plan. Still, this scenario left me wishing I had just waited, but we have to remember we are not perfect and can still foster children's learning, just by being aware of their innate ability to discover things on their own.

Has there been a time that you (or someone else) intervened in your child's play, and then you wished the interruption hadn't occurred?

We look forward to hearing your thoughts and observations about giving our children time and space for focused play.

With care,
ACE

"The S Word" (an article about SHARING by Janet Lansbury)

Before you read this article (by Janet Lansbury): What are your thoughts on sharing?

It’s chanted on every playground and enforced at the park, parties and play dates. It’s a word that has become the social mantra for parents of toddlers everywhere: Share!

We are all desperate for our children to share. Sharing is vital. The future of the world depends upon our children’s spirit of generosity. We fear that if we don’t remind our children to share, they might become selfish, stingy outcasts. Or, we worry that we will be judged an indulgent, inconsiderate and ill-mannered parent.

The truth is that toddlers don’t yet understand the concept of sharing, and our parental concerns make “share” a loaded word. We tend to misuse it. We say “share,” but what we really mean is, “Give what you have to another child.”

Why would a child want to ‘share’ his red truck when it means giving up the truck to someone else?

Toddlers want what they see, and that object becomes “theirs.” “Mine” can mean either: I see it, I want it, or I’m using it. The idea of ownership — the concept that dad or mom bought an item at the store so now it belongs to them — is not understood by a toddler.

It’s common in RIE Parent/Infant Classes for children to want the same toy. The giving and taking of toys often begins as a social gesture, an infant’s early attempt to make contact with another infant. The children may appear to be struggling with a toy, but with a bit of patience and objective observation, we usually see that there is little stress and lots of curiosity. If a child reacts to the exchange with surprise or disappointment, infant expert Magda Gerber advises caregivers to “sportscast,” rather than interfere. “Sportscast” means to acknowledge the interactions of the children in a matter-of-fact way, never implying blame. Children often calm down when they feel that an adult understands. We might say, for example: “Rex, you were holding the car, and now Sophie has it.” Or, “You and Sophie both want that toy.”

There are no villains or victims in Toddlerland, just children learning by experimenting with social behaviors.

When infants and toddlers have opportunities for uninterrupted socialization, they will try out different options. Should they let go and allow the other child to take the ball away? What happens if they hold on tightly? If they do ‘share’ or offer something to another child, how does that child react? As infant expert Magda Gerber reminded us in her book Your Self-Confident Baby, “Self-learned lessons, whether sharing or the will to hold on, stick with us longer.”

Children will often demonstrate that the interaction with another child is what interests them, not the toy itself. This is evident when there are multiples of a certain object available, yet the children are only interested in the one that has “heat.” Soon after the struggle is over, the toy is usually dropped, becomes “cold,” and no one wants it anymore. Children are best left to work these situations out by themselves while the adults ensure that there is no hitting or hurting.

Several years ago I experienced the futility of adult interference in a toddler power struggle when I brought my daughter to her friend’s house to play. The girls both wanted a particular doll. The girl’s kind-hearted mother couldn’t bear to see them fight, so she offered my daughter a replacement toy, a stuffed turtle. Then both girls wanted the turtle, so she brought something else. She brought toy after toy to the girls, and they continued to fight over each new toy. Finally, after tears and yelling, the girls finished their rivalry, abandoned all the toys and went out in the yard to play, friends again.

So, how do we teach children to share with others?

First, by modeling generosity. For example, saying to a child, “You’re reaching for my crackers. Here, I’ll share some with you.” Or, “Let’s share this umbrella.”

Second, when our child demonstrates generosity we acknowledge it. “It was kind of you to share those blocks with Robert.”

Most importantly, we must be patient and trust that our child will learn to share in time.

No parent feels comfortable when their child takes from another, holds on to toys that another wants to use, or seems upset because another child will not share with him. But these situations usually look far worse from our point-of-view than they do from our child’s. When we unnecessarily intervene in a struggle by insisting that a child shares, we rob him of a social learning experience. And when we insist that our child shares before he can truly understand what that means, we risk making “share” a bad word. A child shares when he begins to feel empathy for others, empathy modeled through a parent’s patience and trust in him.

-Janet Lansbury

What do you think about this approach?
I am curious about reading your thoughts or any other approach you would like to share.

Warmly,

Dilcia with Amara, Christina and Susie

Busy Protagonistas

Busy Protagonistas..

 Last week, we had our last session with Kara. Theo and I worked together as I helped him with some yoga poses which he smiled through the whole time while repeating my words. Anika and Edith took turns spending their time enjoying yoga with Kara. Adi delightfully took a minute to join in, he laughed as I helped him with a couple of yoga poses. And Rui seemed to be joining right in as he lay on a pillow and stretched his legs up and out using his hand to hold a foot.

Kara also brought in this wonderful sounding bowl. Edith, Adi, Theo, and Rui took time to investigate how it works. As they played the sounding bowl it caught every baby's attention as it made a 'beautiful' sound. I think it was a unique classroom experience for them.

                                                                                                 
                                                                                                     Outside

Time in the Piazza

What are Oscar and Edith  Awwed by?

Studio in the classroom: An exploration of light, mirrors and paper

Shaking, banging and Crumpling Paper

Exploring Light

Finding Our Reflections

And.....Time for hugs

"Sometimes we fall when one offers a hug"

A peek at last week through photos

Enjoying some time outside in the beautiful May weather...

Using the climber in all different ways...

Getting wet in the water table...

  

Discovering new things all the time...

Observations

There are many moments in which giving an infant time while we just observe is beneficial for both infant and caregiver providing everyone involved with clear communication and showing the infant your trust. Your babies are at a stage in which their responses, wants and needs are more clear and they may have their own way or even sign language to show it. Sometimes you can read their eyes, it can be a smirk that gives you an answer or even a hand grip as my example below shows.

As Elliott and I were saying good morning, Oscar who was in dad’s arms was seemingly wanting to join in by looking at, babbling at and showing me amazingly big smiles. He even reached out to touch me with one hand. Instead of taking Oscar as ready as he seemed to be, I reached out and asked if he wanted to come to me. Oscar looked at my reached out arms, his smile, though still there, dimmed down a bit, but what I noticed most was his hand grip slightly onto his dad. I said to him, “ I think that you are not ready yet, It’s OK I can wait until you are.” Oscar responded with his great big smile and more babbling. He happily played with his dad on the carpet near me and at a point crawled over to me and into my arms. As I waited for his cues it allowed Oscar to have control over the situation and choose his needs/wants at the moment.

As we all know observations are very important when getting to know infants and when watching them grow. We use observations to find cues to when baby is hungry, sleepy, or just want to cuddle and further to know what they are interested in, how their personalities are, how they are developing, and what skills they may need to work more on. But taking time to observe infants closely can also be helpful in making sure they are given the opportunity to listen to us and to respond, to start making their own choices, and it's yet another way to show them respect. Many times we are making assumptions of what it is babies want or are OK with. For example, just because a baby might not cry does not necessarily mean she was completely ready to be swept and put in a chair.

As I asked Edith the other day if she wanted to go sit for lunch, instead of just picking her up, letting her know it was lunch time and sitting her in a chair, I watched. Edith looked over to the table where many babies were already sitting, she looked back down at the object in her hands and kept exploring it. I waited, about two minutes later I bent down to Edith’s level and told her everyone was about to eat to let me know when she was ready to join. Seconds later, Edith put the object down and with a smile on her face crawled over to the kitchen. Even though Edith would most likely not have cried or rejected my picking her up and bringing her over to the table to sit, I felt better having given her the time to finish what she was working on and join the group when she was ready.

We can learn so much by taking time to observe when your baby is at play. What it is that appeals to them about a play object, how he uses his fingers when exploring specific objects, but also what he might be telling or maybe showing us might be translated through simple gestures.

                     Observe more, do less

Do less, enjoy more

-Magda Gerber

Dilcia with Amara, Christina, and Susie

"A Whole Other Playtime"

Last year, when I joined the Toddler One South team in December, I had to learn the routines and the flow of the day in the classroom. As I tried to give the children (and teachers) space to get to know me, I asked lots of questions. I also found that sometimes, I just needed to watch and listen closely, and then I might understand the reason behind certain routines and rituals in this particular classroom, such as reading a "Big Book" together, picked out by one of the children, as a way to center ourselves and feel a sense of calm before naptime.

During the hour or so between lunch and naptime, I enjoyed sitting on the floor beside the children. As we got to know each other, I had become accustomed to being invited to be a part of their play throughout the day - whether it was acting as a partner in a game of catch, or helping to wrap a baby doll in a scarf - so I would make myself available to the children after lunch, by positioning myself in close proximity. I will always remember when my co-teacher pointed out why she preferred to stay on the sidelines and observe more than interact during this time. It seemed in some classrooms, for various reasons, teachers might offer only books as part of a "quiet time" before nap. In our team meetings, we talked about our classroom's post-lunch time as being "a whole other playtime." The children are focused, their bellies full, and they are ready to work!

As our active Infant South babies move toward toddlerhood, and a common lunch and naptime, I have enjoyed the moments when I can sit back and witness their "whole other playtime." 

One day last week, I found myself taking a video of an interaction between Anika and Nate, and I ended up panning the camera around the room in an effort to capture the focus and intensity of so much of the work being done and the interactions between babies. I couldn't decide where to look! While I usually try to take videos that focus on a certain experience, without moving around too much, I'm glad my indecision provided us with this look at the level of activity in our classroom after lunch. It is often the one time of day when every baby is present and awake, and there are very few interruptions. I wonder what drives the babies' choices when they are brought to the carpet as teachers clean up, change diapers, and write on daily sheets (and take videos!). Do they rely on us less at this time of day, now that most of them move around the room independently? 

I hope you enjoy this special peek into our classroom as much as I enjoyed being there for it:

What captures your attention when watching this video? 

How might our babies' work during this extended time of little interruption play a role in all their work throughout the day and over time?

With love and curiosity,

Christina (with Amara, Dilcia, and Susie)

Supporting Natural Movement

Last week Christina shared a video with Dilcia, Susie, and me that really got me thinking about learning to move. I cannot remember, of course, what it was like for me to learn how to roll, sit, crawl, walk, etc, but this video made me realize that I learned how to move in new ways when I took a rock climbing class a few years ago. After figuring out I could go up the wall easily if I just used any of the holds in front of me to pull and step up, I was trying a planned route for the first time, but had trouble reaching a particular hold that seemed too far out of reach for me. "Maybe if I had longer arms or legs I could do this," I said, after trying and falling (while on belay) multiple times, "but I'm just too short to reach. I can't do it." The instructor assured me that I could; I just had to figure out a different way to move my body in order to reach. Finally I started swinging my body to the right in order to gain enough momentum to reach the hold up and to my left. After a couple of tries, I was finally able to hold on and hoist myself higher up the wall. Once my body learned what to do, my muscle memory took over, and I could do it again with ease. Until my muscles fatigued, that is, at which point a little rest was good. The instructor didn't hold my body to help me move; he used simple words of encouragement to help me get my body to try out new things until I got it on my own. And what better way to feel a sense of accomplishment than to do something on your own? This video helped me put it all together by connecting this idea to my personal experience.

 

I know, Liv is not one of our babies, but I have witnessed a similar process in all of our Infant South babies. There is lots of information out there about how to help babies develop their gross motor skills, but I have learned that they can learn how to move on their own if we just give them the space to figure it out. First, Liv experimented with ways to move until she could roll easily from back to front and front to back. Next, she found ways to move her body to let her crawl.  

 

One of the things that I think is so cool about babies figuring out how to move is that they do it in all different ways. 

Adi army crawls.

Edith learned how to crawl by moving from a sitting position to leaning far forward on her hands.

Anais rolls and rolls to access anything she sees. She is developing so much coordination to help her start moving forward.

It took me some time to see that babies are capable of moving independently just as preschoolers are, though in different ways. I used to work in a classroom of 3-5 year olds, and the monkey bars on the playground were very enticing to those children at recess. When I first started working there, I would get requests from some of the children to help hold them up as they would move their hands from one bar to the next. I thought it would make them happy, so I would yield to their requests. Then the teacher I worked with explained that she doesn't help them across the monkey bars because it doesn't help them learn how to do it on their own and I would just end up holding them up there every recess. That made so much sense! So I stopped assisting them and started encouraging them if they expressed interest. Soon the children were climbing up, holding on to the first bar as long as they could, and finally dropping down when they couldn't hold on any longer. But that helped them gain the strength and confidence required for them to move on to the next bar and the next, until they could do it all by themselves. 

Why do we so often want to help babies and young children move in new ways before they can do it independently? I learned not to do it with preschoolers, so why did I start helping our infants stand up before they were ready? I know that it feels exciting to see them develop so quickly, and they usually seem really happy and excited when someone helps them move in new ways too. It feels like they're making so much progress, and that feels good. Maybe we worry that they won't be able to do it themselves if we don't help them, but we don't show babies how to roll and they figure it out, so why do we help babies walk? Sometimes people help out of convenience, such as using a seat to prop a baby when our hands are otherwise busy. And lastly, it's really hard to watch a baby struggle when trying to do something they haven't quite figured out how to do yet. But as educator Magda Gerber said, “Wait as long as you can stand it. And then a few moments more.”

We must have an opportunity to struggle in order to learn how to do something, whether rock climbing, moving across the monkey bars, or crawling forward. The struggle is where the learning happens. My job as a teacher is to support learning in this way. If I see a baby who is struggling and is visibly upset, then I tell her, "I see that you've been working really hard and are getting upset, so I'm going to pick you up now." Then I can hold her and give her some comfort until she is ready to do something else or try again. But a little frustration is fine!

Here Nate was struggling to move forward, and now he has figured out how to crawl!

The struggle really is worthwhile. It will lead to learning and will help develop confident, independent children. 

With care,

Amara (with Christina, Dilcia, and Susie)