Testing, Limit Setting, and Perspectives: Reflecting on an article

Pushing, pulling, hitting, throwing, grabbing, running away...
Our children, as they develop skills, knowledge, interests, and relationships, need to "test" out certain behaviors to understand what is expected of them. Their world is expanding as they meet new people and deepen the relationships they've already formed (such as with parents and caregivers at school); their uncertainty about what is expected at any given time can elicit challenging behaviors as they look to us to find out what's "ok" and what's not.

Testing can seem like an overwhelming phase in our toddlers' development (even though it is normal and should be expected!), but our team often finds inspiration and clarity in articles by Janet Lansbury and others who share the visions and intentions of child therapist and infant specialist Magda Gerber. (Here is the website dedicated to Magda Gerber's work.) 

Recently, our whole team - Christina, Amara, Emily, and Yoonah - read this article about toddler testing by Janet Lansbury (also in the link below). While we usually work hard to step back and trust our children as they solve problems and sort out conflicts, we found this article has provided guidance for when and how to step in and why.

I had read the article a couple of years ago when Cynthia, now a P1 teacher, was working as a floater in our T1S classroom and shared this article and others with my teammates and me. I am still grateful to her as it changed the way I viewed "unwanted" behaviors by reminding me never to take it personally and to maintain the child's point of view as a young person trying to find their way in the world.

What behaviors or habits are feeling like a struggle in your house currently?

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2014/07/dont-leave-a-testing-toddler-hanging/

After reading the article, do you see any of these actions in a new light? 

Did any of the suggestions resonate with what you are already doing or striving to do? 

(I would predict "yes" to the last question because I see and hear a lot of respectful and confident parenting, and we are all continually learning and doing our best every day!)

We welcome and encourage a discussion about this topic, even if you have not yet had a chance to read the article - we can all support and help one another through conversation!

With love and care,

Christina with Amara, Emily, and Yoonah